Self-ridicule father of the bride

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  1. Whereís my mother? Oh there she is bless her. My mum Vera over there is ninety years old and sheís an absolute diamond of a lady, full of worldly wisdom and sage advice. In fact I remember many years ago she told me that Syrup of Figs was the best laxative. Well mum, Iíve got a better one for you, try giving a speech.

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  2. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen! Now for those of you wondering why this old man is interrupting our pudding, I am Geoff, Lindaís dad, and it is traditional that as father of the bride I give the first speech. However Iíd like to ask you all a favour if I may. When Iíve finished the speech please donít break out into rapturous applause screaming, shouting and crying, because a typical fatherís speech is supposed to be six minutes long, and mineís only three, so Iím reading it twice.

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