Say how proud you are
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Linda is the best daughter in the world – she is beautiful, charming, intelligent and, well, perfect in every way. She does everything for me – she even wrote this speech.
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Linda was the kind of child any father would be proud of. She excelled in sports, was popular at school, was fun to be around, was respectful to her seniors and was well respected by anyone who met her. [turn to wife] Carol, are you sure she’s mine?
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