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I have here a receipt that I’d like Paul to sign [produce note] . It reads:
‘Received one daughter in perfect condition, fully guaranteed and warranted. Keep topped up with expensive jewellery and lubricate with vintage cider.’ Not to be outdone, Paul’s father has given me a receipt for Linda to sign [produce note]. It reads:
‘Received one son, sold as seen, no refund under any circumstances. De-hydrates easily, top up regularly with beer.’
Before I finish, I'd like to ask Paul and Linda to participate in the speech now. Linda, if I can ask you to place your hand flat on the table, and Paul, if you would place your hand directly on top of Linda's. Are you enjoying that, Paul? Make the most of it, because it's the last time you'll have the upper hand.