Father of the Bride jokes for weddings in Dec-2011
The best thing you can do to keep any speech relevant and fresh is to have a few topical jokes thrown in to the mix. These should all be related to the day and occasion though; this isn't your audition for Have I Got News For You. Whether it's a public holiday, a chunk of tawdry celebrity gossip or a football team getting an absolute leathering; reference it if it fits the bill. Our selection of topical father of the bride speech jokes gets an update more often than a Windows operating system. See, topical right? Kinda.
Displaying 18 topical father of the bride speech jokes
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It was messy, dangerous and controversial, but he says he'd be prepared to do it all over again. No, it's not Prince Harry going back to Afghanistan…I'm talking about James' stag do.
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It was a lovely ceremony today. When Caroline and James took their vows, you'll notice they answered with clear, succinct, definitive answers. A lesson for Piers Morgan, if ever there was one.
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This week, there's been scientific evidence that beauty is important in business. A German university research team has proven that wages, promotion and perks are all linked to a person's level of attractiveness. And looking at Caroline today, James can take it easy and look forward to life as a kept man….
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As Jenny and Mark prepare to go off on their mid-winter honeymoon, there are warnings of traffic and transport chaos affecting every region of the country. Now, I know my daughter is not the best at navigation, but that's a bit harsh in my opinion…
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What a beautiful couple they are - they've been inseparable for months, they work brilliantly together, it's as if they can anticipate each others' needs without words - it really is inspiring to watch them together. But I'm afraid it can't last. Now Harry and Aliona have won Strictly, he's going back to his girlfriend.
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The big science story this week is the Higgs Boson particle - something invisible and with no measurable substance, but which fills in all the gaps and makes sense of the world. Rather like the love between Jenny and Mark, then. All together now….ahhhh!
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Their relationship has been thrilling, complicated, dramatic and frankly dangerous. They're a devoted partnership, and there's literally nothing they wouldn't do for each other. But I'm afraid it's not going to last past the summer…… It's been announced that Amy Pond is leaving Doctor Who.
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It's been a tense week in the world of treaties and negotiations, as you'll have seen in the news. Just yesterday, for example, Michael tried to engineer a private summit with Fiona, only to have the traditional eve-of-wedding veto brought to play. At least we know their coalition is going to last beyond the next election….
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As a little girl, Fiona always wanted to be a singer in a girl-group. Sadly, she turned out to be tone deaf, with two left feet. But she's been on a long journey, as they say, and today, she and her Little Mix of bridesmaids have certainly got the X-Factor.
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I've rarely seen a couple so well-suited - they're absolutely made for each other. And as they start their new life together, thousands of people are expected to pay good money and queue for hours, just for a chance to see them mate. Yes, Edinburgh Zoo's giant pandas are making quite an impression….
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Now I don't know if you've been told where Fiona and Michael's honeymoon is going to be? All I can say is that, like Manchester, they're not going to Europe...
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Apparently, when they first met, Michael swept Fiona right off her feet. So when the hurricane hit Britain last week, she knew exactly what to do...
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I do hope nobody here has taken unauthorised time off work to travel to Wendy and Simon's wedding. Not if Jeremy Clarkson is watching, anyway.
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Did you see the coverage of last week's strikes? The unions say 2 million took the day off, but it looks like the government's estimate of only 1 million is more accurate. So taking that as a lead, we only got enough sausage rolls for half of you….
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Apparently Simon proposed to Wendy on Facebook. She updated her status to 'taken', two hundred and eighty of her friends 'liked' it, and then she was 'poked' by the vicar of St. Mary's….
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A survey by the Office for National Statistics this week shows that despite economic troubles, most British people rate their level of happiness at about seven or eight out of ten. Looking at my daughter and her brand new husband, though, I'd say Wendy and Simon are on at least eleven….
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Earlier this week, a lorry turned over on the M1 spilling industrial quantities of yeast extract across the motorway. Raise your glasses Ladies and Gentlemen, because twenty tons of Marmite surely calls for a toast….
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The binge drinking amongst young people these days is disgraceful - so I'm happy to say my new son-in-law adheres to old-fashioned standards of gentlemanly behaviour. Wendy says when he proposed, he went down on one knee. Then the other knee. Then he just sort of collapsed in a heap before the taxi driver told him to get out and walk….