Laddish icebreaker

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  1. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I must inform you that because I had rather a heavy night last night, Iím feeling a little fragile. Loud clapping and cheering is the last thing I need, so this speech will be far less funny than I planned. I should know better than to booze into the early hours the night before my wedding, but I donít like to see Linda drinking alone... in the bath... fully clothed and crying.

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  2. Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Linda and I have discussed at length the acknowledgements that we both want to make, so if I do forget any then not only shall I kick myself afterwards, but Linda will kick me as well. Thatís the sort of Ďtogethernessí we have.

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