Groom speech jokes - 101 winners
Displaying 1 to 10 of 101 classic groom speech jokes
I have been told that this is usually one of the only times in a married man’s life when he can be in the company of his wife and mother in-law and not be interrupted … I may be here sometime.Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 30 examples »
Thank you for all your wonderful gifts. I can’t tell you how much they mean to us – but I should have a better idea after the honeymoon, once eBay’s has worked its magic.
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - A wedding speech is one of those rare occasions when you get the opportunity to publicly say how you feel about the people you really care about. So I’m going to devote the next couple of minutes paying tribute to some very special people indeed. Starting with the bar staff …Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 53 examples »
I’d like to thank you all for coming. You’re all looking wonderful tonight. I’ve realised for the first time that I actually have some well-dressed, good-looking family and friends. Oh, no, wait, those ones are Linda’s family and friends.
First of all, I’d like to explain to some of the younger guests that just because the bride left the church with a different man to the one she arrived with, it doesn’t mean she changed her mind.Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 5 examples »
Linda wanted everything to look just perfect today, and if you think I seem a little different to normal, you’d be right. I am in fact a 25-year-old model playing the part of Linda’s husband.
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. I had prepared a superb speech for you today, but unfortunately, now that I am married … I’ve been told to read this one instead.Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 80 examples »
Before we proceed I must make a very sad announcement which I hope doesn’t taint these celebrations. I’m sorry to say that Linda and I are no longer engaged.
I feel very fortunate to have married Linda. None of you will know this, but I've actually been congratulated already. 'Paul,' my father said to me, 'Well done! You will always look back on today as the happiest and best thing you've ever done.' Fitting words, I thought, as I set off for my stag night.Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 18 examples »
Right, I’d just like to start by laying down a couple of rules. Firstly, this is my day, so no heckling please – this includes the wife. And secondly, if you do have a mobile phone…please, leave it switched on; keep yourselves entertained. I think if you keep your spirits high and your expectations low, everyone will be happy.
I’ve been feeling quite nervous about giving this speech for some time. But I’m pleased to say last night I slept like a baby – I woke up every two hours, crying my eyes out.Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 14 examples »
By now, Linda knows me quite well. I use 'quite' advisedly because if she knew me 'well' we may not be here today.
Now I know I’m not the first bridegroom to be a little anxious on his wedding day, but actually since it started I’ve felt pretty relaxed, because Linda’s so organised she’s thought of everything. She arranged for the car to take me to the church, collected my suit from the hire shop and worked all hours of last night to write my speech. Darling – can I have it now, please?Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 20 examples »
Since Linda and I have been together, a lot of guys ask how I could woo such a beautiful, intelligent woman. It’s very simple: spoil them rotten, let them know you’ll give them the finer things in life, and make sure you’re as witty and as cultured as your surroundings. On our very first date I took Linda to a flashy restaurant. I won't tell you where, as it's a special place for us, but I will tell you that Linda first melted into my arms with the line, ‘If you were on the menu here, you would be a McGorgeous!’
Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There’s a medical team waiting outside the building and I’d like them to have a clear run when my father in-law is presented with the final bill.Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 22 examples »
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to start by thanking everyone here for sharing our wedding day with us. I’d also like to thank those few that couldn’t be here today, because you've saved us a fortune.
When it comes to talking about my bride's good points, where do I start? She’s intelligent, generous, hard working, popular and a brilliant judge of character.Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 15 examples »
Linda’s been good for me. Since meeting her I’ve been motivated to change career, to lose weight, to drink less. And she supported me through all those failures.
Today is rightly the happiest day of my life, and it will continue to be a date that I will cherish and celebrate as each year passes. And to ensure that I always remember this date as my special anniversary… just once, I shall forget it.Peek inside our content library for fresh alternatives
Displaying 1 of 17 examples »
Good evening everyone. The wife and I are delighted that you were able to come to our wedding. I can’t imagine a happier way to start married life than in this wonderful venue with our family and friends around us. OK, so I can, but it would have to be an exceptionally big Jacuzzi.