The world's largest collection of

Groom Speech Material

Packed with model speeches, witty lines, charming anecdotes and smart observations to help you create a memorable wedding speech in no time.

The Week's Picks

We offer the largest and most up-to-date collection of groom speech jokes, and here's a taste of what we've come up with this week:

[PUNCHING ABOVE YOUR WEIGHT]

"I find it surprising that my wife didn't invite her identical sister to the wedding. I've met her once and only once... I came home early one day when she was visiting with her boyfriend and they were making out on my settee, but I've never seen her again since then!"

[WEDDING DAY OBSERVATIONS]

"I would say today, my wedding day, is the happiest day of my life… but I once had two chocolate bars fall down at once from a vending machine."

[AMUSING RELATIONSHIP INSIGHTS]

"The wedding ceremony was only two hours ago and we've already had our first big argument as a married couple. She says that I wasted money by ordering a 3-meter-wide frame for our wedding photo. Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture."

[LIGHT-HEARTED FUN]

"As we embark on our married life together, I want to reassure my bride that she's in safe hands as I've never made a mistake… I thought I did once; but it turns out I was wrong."

[INADEQUATE HONEYMOON PLANS]

"Would any of you like a ride in a helicopter? I'm looking for two of our guests to join us on the first part of our honeymoon. We leave on Monday and fly to Cannes where we will have a champagne breakfast on a yacht. If interested please find me after the toasts. Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go! "

Building Blocks

Browse the categories below for constantly updated rip-roaring lines to use in your groom speech.

Start Here With Opening Lines

Offering thanks

SELF-DEPRECATING HUMOUR

  • Paying for the wedding
  • Difficulty preparing the speech
  • Punching above your weight
  • Concerns over the first dance
  • Inadequate honeymoon plans
  • Stag party revelations
  • Been together a long time
  • Whirlwind romance
  • Older newlyweds

    • MOCKING YOURSELF

    Search by

    Amusing wedding day observations

    Sincere wedding day observations

    Praising the bride

    Your romance and relationship

    REVEALING THE AMUSING SIDE OF YOUR BRIDE

  • Gently poke fun in the bride's direction
  • Light-heartedly mock brides marital hopes

    • PLAYFUL WISECRACKS

    Search by

    The in-laws

    Your parents

    Best man

    Closing lines and toasts

    Special circumstances

    Search site by keyword

    e.g. 'gifts'

    Wedding Speech Articles

    Latest Features

    Occupation Humour

    Ladies often take after their fathers, and even if they don't, this belief is so common that you can easily riff on it during your groom's wedding speech. Drawing a link between the bride and her dad will instantly endear you to the audience, as this inoffensive source of humour also invokes the feeling of family within the room.

    Continue Reading
    An opening line from a wedding speech that immediately grabs the audience's attention

    ACT OF BRAVERY FROM A BRIDE'S BROTHER

    An opening line that immediately grabs everyone's attention. This wedding speaker demonstrates the key to a good joke is the unforeseen dry twist at the very last moment.