Groom speech examples

Being hilarious when delivering your groom speech is by no means essential. However, most audiences appreciate at least a sprinkling of humour. The example groom speeches here show you how to deliver in a way that suits your sense of humour. Whether you want to be deadpan, laddish, anecdotal, or lighthearted, there's a speech template here that you'll feel comfortable with.

The Groom Who's Fond Of His In-laws

(A speech from a groom who knows his in-laws well, and feels comfortable making lighthearted jibes about them.)

Poking fun at the in-laws isn't recommended if you don't get on. But if your relationship with your new wife's parents is solid (and they have a sense of humour), this is a great template to use. There are oodles of gags in here, and some serious sentiment too. This is relatively long for a groom's speech, but it's all good stuff.

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In her planning of this wedding, Linda has been determined not to overlook even the most insignificant detail. She even remembered to send me an invitation.

The Boisterous Groom

(A cheeky, chirpy kind of a speech, which doesn't disguise the groom's laddish tendencies. At the same time, it's suitable for all audiences.)

Consider yourself a bit of a lad? Go ahead and incorporate some of your own humour into the speech. But beware – you're not on the stag do anymore! This example demonstrates how to keep your material family friendly, without making it look like you've undergone a lobotomy.

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Friends and family, before I begin, I must inform you that I’ve been suffering from a terrible headache all day. To match the best man and ushers, I was going for the wet hair look… but the toilet seat fell down.

The Deadpan Groom

(A self-effacing groom brings down the house with jokes squarely aimed at himself. His humour doesn't get in the way of genuine emotion though.)

The surefire way of getting laughs from your audience is to poke fun at yourself. People always enjoy self-deprecating humour, and this speech has it in spades. There's also a bit of gentle ribbing for the best man – after all, he's probably about to make one or two cringe-worthy remarks about you!

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Ladies and gentlemen, if what Linda said after reading the final draft of my speech still stands, what I am about to say may well bring a smile to my throat and a lump to my ears.

The Laddish Groom

(A speech that appeals to the groom's friends, yet doesn't neglect the other people in the audience either.)

If you're a lad who likes a laugh, there's no reason why this personality shouldn't come through in your groom speech. This example demonstrates how to crack jokes that appeal to your mates, without spurting out anything embarrassing. And don't forget, this is your wife's special day; she still needs to be the focus of your attention!

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My wife and I are so pleased to see you all here, sharing this special day with us. We're grateful for your kind and generous gifts. As I imagine, is the local branch of Argos.

The Cheeky, Complimentary Groom

(A punchy speech that's sharp in wit and sweet in sentiment. Cleverly complimentary in a manner that's not too sickly.)

This speech demonstrates how the groom doesn't have to be overly gushing, and neither does he have to drone on and on for half an hour. The jokes come thick and fast, but they're not just random gags; note how name-checks and compliments are weaved into the humour. There's a theme of luck in this speech. Often a recurring idea helps glue everything together.

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First of all, thanks for coming. You may have noticed how few single people are here today. I'll let you into a secret – that was my idea. I explained to Linda that if we only invited married people, who had already had their weddings, all the presents we got would be clear profit!

The Funny (Yet Appropriate) Groom

(An attention-grabbing groom speech that keeps the laughs coming, yet never goes overboard. For the natural comedian.)

Are you a groom who feels at home in front of an audience, cracking jokes? This could be the speech for you. The humour in this speech has enough bite to rival the best man, and enough tact to ensure no-one gets upset. And although the laughs keep coming, all the necessary people are thanked appropriately.

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I’d like to thank the bridesmaids for looking so lovely and for doing a great job in getting Linda to the church on time. I heard that there was some kicking and screaming when it dawned on her what she was going through with. I thank whoever it was who had the foresight to bring chloroform with them.

The Comical Groom With Lots To Get Through

(An in-depth groom speech which praises the wedding's major players in detail, and also singles out others for thanks.)

This speech is for a groom who's good at holding the floor, and wants to get through a lot of thank yous. Major players like the parents, best man, and bride receive extended credit. Others who had a smaller part in the proceedings also get a mention. Because this speech is a lengthy one, the groom peppers it with humour. That should ensure everyone stays awake!

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Thank you all so much for coming, particularly those who have travelled considerable distances or taken a day off work in order to be here. From a personal point of view, I am very glad to have met many of Linda’s family for the first time. Despite what she told me, I think you’re all lovely!

The Lighthearted But Tasteful Groom

(A lighthearted but tactful speech, which is crammed with laughs, but never oversteps the line in terms of risqué material.)

A groom speech without any jokes is bound to be dull. Conversely, it's essential you're not too try-hard with your gags, making the speech into your own stand-up routine. This example strikes the balance perfectly. If you're going to rib people, do it gently. And don't forget to make one or two jokes at the expense of yourself. That's only fair.

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Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family. On behalf of my wife and I – or as I prefer to call her ‘my most recent ex-girlfriend’ – welcome to our wedding breakfast!

The Storytelling Groom

(A full-on funny speech that uses anecdotes to prompt laughs. One for the confident groom who is adept at reeling off stories.)

The anecdotes used in this speech cover pretty much everything, from how the bride and groom first met to amusing titbits from the lead-up to the wedding. Obviously it makes sense to tweak these anecdotes to be relevant to you. However, there's nothing wrong with embellishing the truth for extra laughs. Note how the jokes here are at the expense of the speaker, and not his new wife!

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Today's wonderful festivities have only been possible thanks to the kindness and efficiency of many people busy behind the scenes. I myself have been slaving away over one vital concern for months now. And if I do say so myself, going with Stella Artois was definitely the right decision.

The Comical, Cultural Groom

(A full-on comical groom speech, packed with cultural references. For grooms who enjoy being in the limelight.)

Some grooms feel their wedding speech is a chance to entertain people. This example demonstrates how to do that, with quick-fire gags, cultural references and the odd harmless gibe. That said, the groom here hasn't neglected his duties. He thanks the people who need thanking, and he makes sure the speech isn't centred around him. If you've got the knack to pull this one off, go for it!

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On a personal note, I’d like to say that today has been the happiest of my life. It’s firmly in Linda’s top 50 too.

The Amusing Groom

(This groom speech gives a taster of the best man material to come (or probably, anyway). It's amusing, anecdotal and heartfelt.)

Why should the best man have all the fun? Although the groom has a responsibility to thank certain people (which this speech also does), he's allowed to be a bit cheeky too. This particular speech is a potted history of the groom and his bride. It's done to comical effect, and laced with self-deprecation. It takes a certain type of groom to carry this off. But when it works, it really works.

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Linda and I met five years ago in that famously romantic location, Tiger Tiger. Our relationship began with a single act of chivalry. I saw Linda standing in the queue, shivering in what appeared to be only a short skirt, t-shirt and cardigan. I asked if I could borrow her cardigan, she said yes, and the rest is history.

The Sincere, Gushing Groom

(A speech that doesn't rein in the sentimentality. This is a sincere, no-nonsense roll call of thanks, guaranteed to make the audience well-up.)

Planning on leaving the jokes for the best man? This sincere monologue is ideal for a groom who isn't overly-confident in front of a room of people, and merely wants to express his gratitude. There's humour in here, but it's not pushy – expect a few warm chuckles and lots of glowing smiles.

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I feel truly blessed to be Linda’s husband. She is a wonderful girl, but I suppose you all know that. I just want you all to know that I know it too, and appreciate it very, very much.