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Groom Speech Material

Packed with model speeches, witty lines, charming anecdotes and smart observations to help you create a memorable wedding speech in no time.

The Week's Picks

We offer the largest and most up-to-date collection of groom speech jokes, and here's a taste of what we've come up with this week:


"I find it surprising that my wife didn't invite her identical sister to the wedding. I've met her once and only once... I came home early one day when she was visiting with her boyfriend and they were making out on my settee, but I've never seen her again since then!"


"I would say today, my wedding day, is the happiest day of my life… but I once had two chocolate bars fall down at once from a vending machine."


"The wedding ceremony was only two hours ago and we've already had our first big argument as a married couple. She says that I wasted money by ordering a 3-meter-wide frame for our wedding photo. Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture."


"As we embark on our married life together, I want to reassure my bride that she's in safe hands as I've never made a mistake… I thought I did once; but it turns out I was wrong."


"Would any of you like a ride in a helicopter? I'm looking for two of our guests to join us on the first part of our honeymoon. We leave on Monday and fly to Cannes where we will have a champagne breakfast on a yacht. If interested please find me after the toasts. Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go! "

Building Blocks

Browse the categories below for constantly updated rip-roaring lines to use in your groom speech.