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Groom Speech Material

Packed with model speeches, witty lines, charming anecdotes and smart observations to help you create a memorable wedding speech in no time.

This Week's Picks

We offer the largest and most up-to-date collection of groom speech jokes, and here's a taste of what we've come up with this week:

[PUNCHING ABOVE YOUR WEIGHT]

"I find it surprising that my wife didn't invite her identical sister to the wedding. I've met her once and only once... I came home early one day when she was visiting with her boyfriend and they were making out on my settee, but I've never seen her again since then!"

[GENTLY POKE FUN IN THE BRIDE'S DIRECTION]

"We had made plans for a Spring wedding, but apparently, I kept postponing things. Like the proposal!"

[AMUSING RELATIONSHIP INSIGHTS]

"The wedding ceremony was only two hours ago and we've already had our first big argument as a married couple. She says that I wasted money by ordering a 3-meter-wide frame for our wedding photo. Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture."

[PAYING FOR THE WEDDING]

"Thank you parents, for helping us fund this wedding... I don't think we can ever repay you!"

[INADEQUATE HONEYMOON PLANS]

"Would any of you like a ride in a helicopter? I'm looking for two of our guests to join us on the first part of our honeymoon. We leave on Monday and fly to Cannes where we will have a champagne breakfast on a yacht. If interested please find me after the toasts. Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go! "

Building Blocks

Browse the categories below for constantly updated rip-roaring lines to use in your groom speech.