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Groom speech jokes - 101 classics

Displaying 1 to 10 of 101 classic groom speech jokes Next 10 Records
1 Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I have been told that this is usually one of the only times in a married manís life when he can be in the company of his wife and mother in-law and not be interrupted Ö I may be here sometime.
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2 Iíd like to thank the Reverend Grey for the great job he did today at the church. I learned something new during the vows that I hadnít realised before: that itís ok to have sixteen wivesÖfour better, four worse, four richer and four poorer. So I appreciate that teaching.
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3 When it comes to talking about my bride's good points, where do I start? Sheís intelligent, generous, hard working, popular and a brilliant judge of character.
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4 Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen. I must say, itís funny how history repeats itself. Twenty-four years ago, Linda's mum and dad were sending their beautiful daughter to bed with a dummy Ė and here we are again today.
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5 There are two people not yet mentioned, but without whom I wouldnít be here. No, I donít mean the best man and the taxi driver, but my parents, the most wonderful mum and dad in the world.
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6 I will shortly be handing over to Jason. But unlike many best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, he has promised me that if there is anything slightly risquť, he will whip it out immediately.
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7 I think you'll agree that Linda looks stunning in that magnificent white dress. I feel so proud and honoured to be married to her. And of course, I can at last say: my dish-washer matches my fridge!
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8 I feel very fortunate to have married Linda. None of you will know this, but I've actually been congratulated already. 'Paul,' my father said to me, 'Well done! You will always look back on today as the happiest and best thing you've ever done.' Fitting words, I thought, as I set off for my stag night.
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9 Thank you for all your wonderful gifts. I canít tell you how much they mean to us Ė but I should have a better idea after the honeymoon, once Iíve spoken to the guy in the pawn shop.
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10 Iíve heard a few people comment on how trim I am looking in this suit, which is actually the result of a fitness regime thatís seen me do at least 50 push-ups a day during the run up to this wedding. But I should mention that none of them have actually been intentional Ė Iíve just been collapsing a lot through nerves and stress.
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