Father of the Bride Speech Examples
Why should the best man get all the good lines? With our collection of amusing Father-of-the-Bride speeches he won't, as we show you how to weave the right kind of humour into a wedding speech like a pro. Packed full of spicy one-liners, anecdote templates and the odd smidge of emotion to balance it out, our humorous speeches will turn your tales into raucous epics. We will also demonstrate the crucial difference between a speech that reads like a bad stand-up routine, and a skilful slice of oratory from a loving dad who knows how to get away with blue murder.
Generous Compliments Balanced With Humour
(A perfect balance of compliments and jokes that will both entertain and endear you to the guests.)
The best speeches manage to make people laugh without losing sight of the main event, and this piece is a perfect example of that. Use this as a guide to add nostalgic humour sparingly at the right moments, counteracting any sugar coated compliments you have had to put in because your wife said so.
Honestly, it feels strange to be giving my little girl away today. if you want to make time fly, have a daughter. It seems like only yesterday I was holding a newborn nine-and-a-half pound baby girl with wisps of blonde streaky hair in my arms. The proudest moment of any father’s life, until today. One only has to glance her way to see the radiance she gives off. Well, she did until I mentioned her baby weight – she still swears those scales were faulty.
Start With A Bang
(There is a subtle way of organising your jokes and praise into a winning formula, this speech template shows you how to do just that.)
If you analyse the layout of successful speeches you’ll notice a pattern. Start with a bang and then carry on teasing the audience with some nicely disguised zingers at the end of a seemingly heartfelt display of emotion. You have to reel in your audience like a salmon then gut them thoroughly…. with words, obviously. As you come towards the end of the speech, lose some of the humour in favour of actual compliments and warm feelings, before hooking them all again with a few well-placed wisecracks.
Friends and family, welcome to Paul and Linda’s wedding celebration. If I look unwell it’s because I’ve been suffering from a terrible headache all day. My wife suggested I should fit in with the groomsmen and go for a trendy wet hair look. Anyway, long story short, the toilet seat fell down. Apparently, it just slipped out of my wife’s hand... Repeatedly.
Anecdotal Amusement
(A witty speech packed with family memories and genuine amusement at a daughter’s foibles.)
The best speeches weave in true stories full of heart and pride. Share some humorous anecdotes about the bride and the groom to really get the audience roaring with laughter, and don’t forget to poke fun at yourself… it’s not like there’s a lack of material!
I apologise in advance for my speech writing abilities. It is likely to start off badly, sag in the middle with long silences, and then trail off into a lot of incoherent rambling. Much like our wedding night, eh dear?
A Little Forethought Goes A Long Way
(Make your guests feel involved by singling them out with some witty and eye-opening anecdotes.)
Observational wedding jokes always go down well, but make sure your speech couldn’t be copy-pasted for any old rabble. Taking the time to research and make comments specific to the lives of your family and friends’ makes guests feel special, which is way better than thanking the staff… they’re getting paid, so sod 'em!
First of all, thanks for coming. You may have noticed how few single people are here today. I'll let you into a secret – it was my idea. I explained to Paul and Linda that if they invited only married people, all the presents they got would be clear profit.
A Tight Speech Packed With Laughter
(With plenty of room for jokes, the anecdotes in this piece are light and demonstrate how to get laughs without hurting feelings.)
This structure allows a 'cheeky chappie' father to crack wise about everyone and everything, pulling it back each time with a compliment that should see you escape with your life. The best stories end with our bride whiter than white, but until then feel free to dish the dirt.
As the bride's father I must propose the main toast of the day: that of the Bride and Groom. Apparently it’s the father of the bride's privilege. But I’m not too keen on speaking in public, or speaking at all for that matter. The wife does the talking in our house, and if you look carefully after the speech you may notice her removing her hand from my backside.
Sentimental Sibling Stories
(If you have some particularly heartwarming stories then serve these up warm, but offset them with a cold dollop of sarcasm.)
Sometimes the relationship between a daughter and other family members is so significant it should be mentioned, unless it’s one of those you read about from a tabloid that took place in a shack in the Deep South. In this speech example, the daughter has been a second mother to her younger siblings, which leads perfectly into a comment about how bossy she can be; a warning to her newly-acquired husband. Keep all stories relevant and cut any that don’t fit the narrative of the day, i.e. remove anything that doesn’t imply your daughter is wonderful.
Before I start I need to make a small disclaimer and inform you that my wife Carol has vetted this speech. If anything doesn’t make you laugh, it’s her fault. If you absolutely wet yourself at any of the jokes, she had nothing to do with it. If it becomes a police matter, she wrote the bloody lot.
Wedding Wisecracks
(If you want to inject a little more humour into proceedings then pick your battles and don’t go too far!)
If the newlyweds are sour-faced sods who have no sense of humour then you may want to try a nice, safe speech. If they are ripe for ribbing then a few wisecracks about their lack of wisdom can really bring the occasion to life. However, if you’ve spent the entire speech laying into the happy couple, you may want to end with something so syrupy sweet you could ice a bun with it.
Doesn’t Linda look stunning in that beautiful dress? I’ve always said she should wear her dresses longer – at least, for longer than a week. Honestly, she gets bored of clothes so quickly I bet she never even wears this dress again!
Polish Your Piece
(Many things can go tits up on a big day like this, so make sure your speech isn’t one of them.)
There are plenty of things that can wrong on a wedding day; the vicar might be a snob, the catering gives everyone diarrhoea, and the worst sin of all is for anyone to turn up in a dress more fabulous than the bride, especially if you’re the father. On the off chance that everything goes to pot you can at least provide a tightly-scripted speech full of merriment and mirth on your daughter’s big day, the memories of which your family and friends will take away long after the botulism toxin in their colon has subsided.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we go again. This is only the second wedding speech I’ve ever made. At the first the bridegroom was a devilishly handsome chap with an eye for the ladies and another for fine tailoring, his bride must have been the envy of every woman that set eyes on him. She surely was a very lucky lady. That young man hasn’t lost any of his charm with the passing years; in fact he’s charming you right now. But enough about my gorgeous jawline and stunning physique, we’re here to talk about another handsome young man, who has been lucky enough to find himself the object of affection of my beautiful daughter Linda. When Linda sets her sights on a man, she will either own him or devour him, meaning today could have been either a wedding or an autopsy. We'll see which after the buffet later.
Teasing A Tomboy Bride
(If your daughter wasn’t a typical girly girl growing up, a few amusing anecdotes can provide some insightful humour.)
For a dad who’s proud of his tomboy daughter, you can’t go wrong with these tales of childhood scrapes and scraps. Remember though, never go too far, as you don’t want to be on the wrong side of an angry bride who can handle herself. If worried, run it by your wife, who will signal her disapproval with a swift left hook.
I can tell you that Paul’s had an extensive trial run as son-in-law, and he’s passed the test with flying colours. That’s what makes Carol and me so happy, that he’s managed to survive Linda’s scrutiny, as we hoped, and this hasn’t put him off one bit.
A Pleasant Blend Of Goofy Humour And Pride
(Keep everyone happy with this gentle mix of off-beat remarks and genuine admiration.)
Balance out the overbearing nature of constant pleasantries by injecting some quirky humour into the speech. If your anecdotes are sweet, add some silliness to bring pace to proceedings. If your stories contain a subtle jibe at the couple’s expense, don’t be afraid to go the whole hog. As long as you bring it back with a tasteful compliment at the end, you should avoid a slap afterwards.
When you have a young daughter you hope one day she’ll marry a man who is kind. Then, later on, you think maybe she will marry a man with a good personality. Then, you hope maybe she will marry a man who is intelligent. Wait too long and you’re happy if he’s got a pulse! But Linda has found herself a man who ticks all the boxes, which is why he isn’t allowed to vote any more.