Your personal experience of marriage

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  1. My daughter once enquired as to the secret of our long and happy marriage. ‘It dates back to our honeymoon,’ I explained. We went horse riding in the Scottish Highlands. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s horse bucked. My wife quietly said, ‘That’s once.’ A little further the horse bucked again and once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’ We hadn’t gone half a mile when the horse did it a third time. Without saying a word my wife dismounted and kicked the horse full in the balls. I started to protest over her treatment of the horse, when she looked at me she quietly said, ‘That’s once.’

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  2. The first morning after my honeymoon, my wife got up early, went down to the kitchen, and brought me my breakfast in bed. Naturally, I was thrilled. ‘Have you noticed how runny the egg is and how crispy I have made the bacon?’ she asked. ‘Yes dear, it’s very nice,’ I replied. ‘That’s good,’ she said, ‘because that’s how I want my breakfast served every morning from now on.’

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