Recently added groom speech material

To keep our groom speech content offering current and relevant, we add new material to the site every day. Here's a selection of this month's new lines, now added to our ever-evolving speech content database.

(A sample of the new lines we've added in January)

  1. [Opening lines / Icebreaker for a short speech]

    I know that wedding toasts are traditionally supposed to be long and sappy, humorous and touching, but in the vein of current austerity, I’ve made some serious cuts.

  2. [Tongue-in-cheek compliments / Ambitious]

    Everyone knows Linda is an extremely ambitious woman. She’s determined to climb that greasy pole, which bodes well for our love life.

  3. [Opening lines / Nervous about the speech]

    Before I started writing this speech, my dad gave me a quick bit of advice. He said son, your jokes may be crap, you might fluff your lines, you might even offend some of the audience. I said, I might? He said, yes. But remind them who’s buying the drinks and they’ll at least pretend to laugh.

  4. [Self-deprecating humour / Been together a long time]

    I admit we’ve had a long engagement. So long, in fact, that we’ve put a deposit down on a funeral.

  5. [Closing lines and toasts / Your thoughts on being married]

    I’ve already told Linda that once we’re married I want her to stick to the cooking, cleaning, ironing and shopping. I’m determined that no wife of mine is going to work.

  6. [Your romance and relationship / The effect you've had on each other]

    I am so grateful for meeting Linda. If I hadn’t, I’d have never have known that I had any faults.

  7. [Opening lines / Self-ridicule icebreaker]

    Good afternoon everyone, if I could please have your attention! The time has come for me to stand up here and make a complete and utter fool of myself. The stupid haircut was just to ease you in…

  8. [Opening lines / Nervous about the speech]

    Ladies and Gentlemen - It’s at times like these every Groom wishes Pampers made an adult size.

  9. [Offering thanks / The guests for attending]

    I really need to start by thanking every one of you that are here today. Some have travelled from afar, others just round the corner. But all of you have done so in the knowledge that you’ll need a mortgage to pay for a vodka and coke. That truly is commitment and we are really grateful.

  10. [Best man / Express your regard for him]

    Jason – Thanks for being my Best Man. You’ve been a real friend over the years. For those of you who don’t know Jason he’s a life-long Saints fan so he knows quite a bit about sticking with losers, although we all come good eventually.