Winter Wedding Speeches

Winter truly is a magical time of year, and yet despite there being an abundance of festivities already, many couples still insist on jimmying another in with the arrangement of a winter marriage ceremony. Some are hoping for a glorious white wedding, whereas others just want to save their stingy relatives a few quid by killing two turtle doves with one shiny diamond rock. But whatever the reason, if you're on speech duties you should find ample opportunity for humour in this situation.

First of all, before you've even touched on the events of the season, you should see what you can squeeze out of the winter context itself. With the cold weather and blankets of snow wreaking havoc on even the best-laid plans, there are plenty of easy gags to be made based on nothing more than the drop in temperatures and treacherous conditions:

  1. "Now everyone, I'm aware that it's a particularly cold Winter's day today. Even Maxine's mum said she felt a chill go down her spine when her daughter said 'I do', and that's with the heating on."

Once you've covered the winter in a blanket of freshly-fallen humour, it's time to tackle the subject of Christmas. Obviously, there are many simple comparisons which can be made between the festive season and a wedding, but if you can use these lines to point out something illuminating about the Bride and Groom then you're well on your way to a winning winter speech:

  1. "With this being a Christmas wedding I thought I'd give both John and any children here a little bit of advice. If you stay on your best behaviour you might get what you want, but to be certain it's best to make a list. And most importantly, if what you open is not quite what you were expecting, don't forget to smile and feign enjoyment."

  1. "I love December weddings, because it reminds us all of the true meaning of Christmas - getting presents and getting pissed."

Religion is another aspect of a winter wedding which you can easily weave into a speech if you like, but just be careful with this one, especially if you've got a few old folks in the audience. And you might want to think twice if the Priest is present:

  1. "I'd like to also thank Rick for making this wedding even more like the nativity than he ever could've imagined, as when I found out he'd forgotten to book me a room for the night, I was told there was no room at the Holiday Inn."

The final source of wedding speech material for a winter wedding is the beginning of a new year and a period of reflection on the old one. If anything momentous has occurred to either your groom, your bride or the world in general over the past 12 months, this kind of material always sits nicely alongside the typical reference to resolutions and new beginnings.

  1. "At this time of year, it is traditional to look back over the last 12 months and consider just how lucky we are to be here, safe and sound. There have been horrendous accidents, acts of unspeakable violence, disasters both natural and economic, and plenty of lies, slander and recriminations. But that's enough about Gina's hen do."

  1. "What a year it's been, huh folks? So many friends, family and famous people have left our company, and it's only right that we choose to remember those who cannot be here during this time of celebration. But I think you'll all agree there's one who sticks out more than others, so let us all raise our glasses and pay our respects to the dearly departed - godspeed Michael's testicles, you're in a better place now. Amanda's purse."