Father of the Bride jokes for weddings in Jul-2012
The best thing you can do to keep any speech relevant and fresh is to have a few topical jokes thrown in to the mix. These should all be related to the day and occasion though; this isn't your audition for Have I Got News For You. Whether it's a public holiday, a chunk of tawdry celebrity gossip or a football team getting an absolute leathering; reference it if it fits the bill. Our selection of topical father of the bride speech jokes gets an update more often than a Windows operating system. See, topical right? Kinda.
Displaying 9 topical father of the bride speech jokes
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If you think you’re nervous about the wedding, spare a thought for team GB’s athletes! Now that’s nerves! Tom Daley can’t stop biting his nails. Bradley Wiggins is tearing his hair out. And Paula Radcliffe is craping herself!
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Of course, we’ve all been a little worried about the potential for Olympics-related travel chaos. So with that in mind, I’ve taken it upon myself to cancel the happy couple’s honeymoon and book them a fortnight at the Heathrow Hilton, near Terminal 3. Because, let’s be honest, that’s as far as they’re getting before all the medals have been handed out.
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It's one of the most keenly anticipated events in history, and the opening ceremony alone will be a spectacular celebration of a once-in-a-lifetime event. And as well as uncle Arthur getting his wallet out at the bar tonight, apparently the Olympics start on Friday….
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There was a story in the papers this week about a new drug that could prevent memory loss amongst people who are getting on in life. Not that I'd need anything like that - no, I've still got all my marbles thank you very much. I was just saying to my new son-in-law Paul….sorry, Pete…..
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As we celebrate the union of Linda and Paul, the country is facing the worst economic and political turmoil we've seen since the eighties. You're probably too young to remember the eighties, Paul, but a woman was making all the decisions then, too…
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[Wimbledon - Murray gets through to finals.]
There's a great event in life that the vast majority of us will only experience once, and we'll remember and relive the day countless times, telling the tale over and over to our children and grandchildren. But apart from seeing Andy Murray finally make it to the finals at Wimbledon, Jane and Peter will remember getting married this week, too. -
There's a new law going through Parliament this week which would fine people who leave a trail of rubbish behind their vehicle. So if you'd like to tie tin-cans to the back of a 'just-married' couple's car, go for Peter's Audi now. It might be your last chance.
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[Wimbledon - defeat for Murray before finals.]
A wedding is a very traditional occasion, reminding us that some things in life never change. For example love and marriage go together, you can never bank on good weather when you want it, and Andy Murray will always crash out of Wimbledon before the finals. -
It's invisible, unquantifiable and impossible to measure, but it makes the world go round, and without it, none of us would be here. Not the Higgs-Boson particle, but love. And they didn't need to build a multi-billion pound Large Hydron Collider for us to observe it, either - we can just take a look at Jane and Peter…