Father of the Bride jokes for weddings in Dec-2012
The best thing you can do to keep any speech relevant and fresh is to have a few topical jokes thrown in to the mix. These should all be related to the day and occasion though; this isn't your audition for Have I Got News For You. Whether it's a public holiday, a chunk of tawdry celebrity gossip or a football team getting an absolute leathering; reference it if it fits the bill. Our selection of topical father of the bride speech jokes gets an update more often than a Windows operating system. See, topical right? Kinda.
Displaying 13 topical father of the bride speech jokes
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Traditionally, this is the time of year when a rosy-faced, rather chubby old gentleman in ridiculous clothes tries his best to make everyone happy, no matter what the cost. But enough about me, there's Santa Claus to consider too.
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Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge decided to celebrate their first married Christmas with HER relatives rather than at Sandringham this week. Debbie and Chris will face a similar dilemma next year - but they know they'll be very welcome, whichever palace they choose to visit….
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Flooding has caused traffic chaos across Britain during the Christmas period, and on behalf of both families I'd like to say we appreciate the effort everyone's made to attend the wedding today. And don't forget to pick up your lifejackets on the way out…
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When Maria booked the wedding venue and found she couldn't get her preferred date and had to take the end of December, I said 'never mind, it's not the end of the world'. Then we found that actually it was the end of the world according to the ancient Mayan calendar. Still, no apocalypse so far, so that's a plus…..
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According to the ancient Mayan calendar, the world is going to end this Friday. Which is great, because they won't send me the final invoice for the reception until Saturday...
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[for weddings Saturday 22nd]
The good news is the world didn't end yesterday, as predicted in the ancient Mayan calendar. The bad news is that means the invoice for the reception will arrive on my doormat next week….. -
Silvio Berlusconi's decision to re-enter Italian politics is shameful, if you ask me. An old has-been like that - with his dodgy past and questionable morals - really should know when it's time to retire gracefully and leave the stage to the younger ones. Changing the subject, I'll be on the dance floor from about 9pm tonight….
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The whole country's been freezing in extreme winter weather this week, and people asked us if we were worried about the 'Beast from the East' in the run-up to today's wedding. Fortunately Uncle Wayne from Lowestoft couldn't make it…..
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This week they changed the rules on Royal primogeniture so that female offspring can inherit the throne. Our own family is well ahead on that one - if I peg it, Emily stands to get her hands on a very comfortable leatherette G-Plan recliner and matching footstool.
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Acute morning sickness has been in the news this week, thanks to the Duchess of Cambridge. If anyone is thinking of an excuse for tomorrow's morning-after-the-night-before …. can I point out now that it only works for girls?
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It seems we've all spent too much on having a good time, and now we're facing months of spending cuts, careful budgeting and looking for change down the back of the sofa. But that's enough about George Osborne's Autumn Statement - I'm skint too after helping to pay for today's celebrations….
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As Jenny and Mark prepare to go off on their mid-winter honeymoon, there are warnings of traffic and transport chaos affecting every region of the country. Now, I know my daughter is not the best at navigation, but that's a bit harsh in my opinion…
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The lads came home in disgrace from Europe this week, after the worse performance ever recorded by an English team. But worse than Mike's stag-do in Amsterdam, City lost to Dortmund without winning a single game in the Champions League….