Father of the Bride jokes for weddings in Jun-2012
The best thing you can do to keep any speech relevant and fresh is to have a few topical jokes thrown in to the mix. These should all be related to the day and occasion though; this isn't your audition for Have I Got News For You. Whether it's a public holiday, a chunk of tawdry celebrity gossip or a football team getting an absolute leathering; reference it if it fits the bill. Our selection of topical father of the bride speech jokes gets an update more often than a Windows operating system. See, topical right? Kinda.
Displaying 23 topical father of the bride speech jokes
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This week they've been found guilty of criminally manipulating the numbers. I mean Barclays Bank of course, not the wedding venue - I think they've been more than fair. But weddings are just like Barclays - when there's a Diamond involved, you know it's going to cost ….
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Tomorrow Jane and Neil leave for their honeymoon - it's only a few days away, but it's longer than Andy Murray will spend at Wimbledon.
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[In the event of poor weather]
Shame we couldn't have better weather for Jane and Neil's wedding. But they did choose Wimbledon fortnight, so they only have themselves to blame… -
An historic occasion this week, as one man and one woman came together in an exchange of respect and mutual admiration, despite a difficult and sometimes dangerous past. And as well as Jane marrying Neil, the Queen met Martin McGuinness...
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So Wayne Rooney scored against Ukraine to show that you don't need a full, natural head of hair to make some thrilling moves. For more evidence, just watch me on the dance floor later...
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After paying for this wedding, I appreciate how it must feel to be Greece. I've run out of money, there's not much chance of a bailout, and I may be facing a prolonged period of austerity.
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A wedding is an expensive business and I must admit, this one has more or less cleared me out. I've only got enough money left to buy Rangers…..
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Marriage does of course bring some limited tax advantages. Perhaps Chloe and Jason aren't in the same financial league as Gary Barlow - but then they don't have to worry about the tax man saying 'I'll Take That'.
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Over the happy years I've spent with Jennifer's mother, I've learned that marriage is not about winning or losing, it's about achieving an equal balance. A one-all draw would be fine, just like we managed against France on Monday….sorry, was my mind wandering there?
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A distinguished gentleman - in his sixties but still at the height of his powers - has been dumped this week, and it looks like a younger model will take his place. But while Spurs have chucked Harry Redknapp, I'm happy to say my lovely wife Deirdre is happy to stick with experience over youth…
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The weather may not have been great today, but when I look at Jennifer's radiant smile, I think who cares if the Met Office is predicting 80mph hurricane winds? OK...apart from the marquee company, who cares if the Met Office is predicting 80mph hurricane winds?
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Apparently we've had 80mm of water falling on us today. That's 76mm in rain, and 4mm in tears of joy from the bride's mother….
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Yet again this week, we've seen a relatively wealthy benefactor stump up an enormous sum to bail out an impoverished associate, with no guarantee it'll be paid back, or even if it'll be enough to shore up the problem beyond the medium term. And as well as me bunging my son-in-law fifty quid to rent a suit, the EU lent Spain €100 billion….
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The young bridesmaids are a delight today, they really are. And their parents are obviously better organised than the Prime Minister, as not one of them got left behind in the pub.
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I’ll admit I’m not a great public speaker and I’m a little nervous today. At my age I thought I could get out of it by claiming a bladder infection, but someone beat me to that story....
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After the pomp and patriotism of the Jubilee, it was back to normal for Britain. Except for our family - we’ve had an extra week of having to treat the women like royalty...
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It’s a busy summer for Britain, what with the Jubilee and the Olympics. Fortunately Keith and Melinda managed to slip their wedding into the calendar - just before England kick off against France on Monday...
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He’s been an amazing rock of support during the run-up to the event, organising and inspiring everyone involved in the extravaganza. Unlike Gary Barlow, however, Keith’s best man Barry is unlikely to get a knighthood out of it....
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So my daughter Phoebe chose the weekend of the Diamond Jubilee for her wedding. Well, she's always been a diamond for us… expensive and shiny. And I just hope she's not going to be too hard on Paul….
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Today (the other day) a thousand vessels take (took) to the Thames for the Queen's Jubilee Pageant. And Phoebe and Paul begin a voyage today, too - a journey that will take them a lot further than Battersea to Tower Bridge...
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So Jane and Colin are marrying during the Jubilee weekend. Jane of course is queen for the day - and Colin has promised to treat her like royalty for the next sixty years.
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Even when she was a little girl, our Jane reckoned she was something special. And she must have had a point, because the government seem to have arranged an extra bank holiday just for her wedding, and people are celebrating with street parties all over the country…
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Amidst all the joy of Phoebe and Paul's special day, it's worth being realistic - and remembering there'll be some tough times ahead. For a start, England face France in Ukraine next Monday…